Bouncing Back

Have you ever wondered why some people nearly always seem upbeat and motivated, whereas others feel stuck in a rut? Even when the troubles of life hit them, there are those who just seem to carry on and bounce back. Well if you do find yourself wondering, you may take comfort from the fact that you are not alone. Set-backs are all part of life and it is how we deal with them that limits our ability to be happy. If you want to know how to “bounce back” then read on……

Happiness, and our ability to be happy, is known to depend on three main components. The largest of these, around 50%, are our genes, family background and upbringing. Obviously we are not in a position to change these but appreciating how they have influenced us brings a realisation that we must build on our experiences and not let them restrict our motivation.

A belief in one’s own self is what matters most. What others think of us should never take priority as a reason for holding back.

The second most important influence on our ability to bounce back and be happy, at 40%, is determined by our activities and relationships. It goes without saying that if you have a problem then do something completely different. Go for a run, play football, in fact anything energetic. The rush of blood through our bodies, our pumping heart and even the sweat detracts from a continued focus on negative thoughts. If we combine these activities with our friends then so much the better. Talking is easy but it does not really break the brain thinking cycle. Whereas spirited activity often proves to be a catalyst for breaking a downward defeatist cycle.

Surprisingly the least important of the main happiness factors, at only 10%, is shown as life circumstances, income and environment. Now come on, be honest, how many of us have said,

If only I had more money everything would be so much better?

In fact research shows that nothing could be further from the truth. Many have more money than any of us but they are still unhappy.

So taking these three main components into account, how do we bounce back and become happy? Well it is all about motivation – which is central to creativity, productivity and happiness. When we are motivated we act, create and change because we feel involved and able to influence not only ourselves but also those we love. This gives our lives purpose and as a consequence brings happiness.

When life becomes boring or some failure, disappointment hits us, then those who remain happy have a mind-set where they see the adversity not as a stumbling block; but as a stepping stone to greater success. They do not let feelings of inadequacy or even a fear of success, hold them back. Such negative emotions may arise from our upbringing, which is why we need to examine and understand our formative years. It is said that if you want to be a millionaire, firstly start mixing with millionaires. Similarly if you want to be happy and successful start mixing with others who are happy…..because success may then follow. It is worth noting that very few successful people are unhappy as they generally bounce happily forward on their success.

In conclusion therefore, the question arises as to how do you view your ability to bounce back?  A good example for you to ponder comes from an experiment with jumping frogs. These were placed in separate glass jars, then covered with glass lids to prevent them escaping. They were given food and water so they could survive. At first the frogs kept jumping, trying to escape, but they kept hitting their heads on the “invisible” glass lids. After thirty days the glass lids were removed. Even though the lids were not there anymore and it would have been easy for the frogs to jump out of the jars, they did not even try. Over the previous thirty days they had learnt they could not escape, so even when the glass lids were removed, they were still restricted by their self-limiting belief.

So if you find yourself, needing motivation to “bounce back” make sure you are not being fooled into believing you are limited by what was a glass ceiling that is now no longer there. Jump high and jump with confidence because you will probably find yourself leaping happily higher than you ever believed possible. Nothing ventured, nothing gained…so go on “Bounce Back”.